Last month, Dr Zahira Mohamed, on behalf of The Women’s Activities Portfolio (WAP), spoke with members of the Jamat who have welcomed new additions to their family over the past three months: ZT (mother), SG (mother), ZH (father), and MN (mother), to learn more about their experiences during this unprecedented time.
Dr. Mohamed, a GP trainee and new mother herself, has also provided some words of advice to expectant parents.
WAP hopes sharing insights from these Jamati members will help provide some support, and a better understanding of medical guidance in place at present.
Tell us how you are feeling, as parents, in the face of this new way of living?
MN: We have tried to maintain structure to our day and embrace the positives of the lockdown: we try to have meals together; we are spending quality time together which we never got a chance to do before, whilst ensuring we are all able to meet our goals for the day.
ZH: It is our second child, so in terms of managing the newborn things are a little easier. However our older child is also at home 24/7 which is challenging, as she usually spends routine time at nursery and also with each of her grandparents.
SG: It’s been tough. I am a single mum and never expected to do this with no help.
Zahira says: We know that the lockdown has presented challenges for a lot of people, especially those living alone. If you find yourself in need of extra support, please get in touch with the institutions. Embrace is a new initiative specifically established to provide support for parents of newborns; if you’d like to find out more, please email [email protected].
Can you tell us more about your support network and how has that changed during the lockdown?
MN: “We are lucky to have a strong support network at home as well as very loving and doting grandparents! Whilst the grandparents are self-isolating, we have been fortunate that we have had little change to our in-house support which we have really appreciated as we now have two adults working from home full time as well as a toddler who needs to be fed frequently and home schooled!”
SG: “I live alone. My aunt was meant to fly in from LA to come and assist however due to the pandemic she has been unable to do so. I have not been able to hire a nanny to get help in.”
ZT: “Due to unforeseen complications, I required an emergency C-section. Although we had originally planned to go back home, we decided to move in with my parents so that I would get the extra support that I needed after the operation. We stayed with my parents for about 5 weeks, after which we were forced to move home slightly earlier than planned due to the evolving COVID situation. My husband is a key worker and my parents fall into the more vulnerable segment, so we couldn’t risk potentially exposing them to the virus. Being back at home can be quite lonely, especially with the extra time my husband has to spend at work. I try to manage this by video calling family and friends several times during the day, and still get support from my family in the form of cooked meals which my husband can pick up from outside their door.”
Zahira says: These are truly unprecedented times for us all, bringing new challenges to all types of families. For many there is an increased and ongoing conflict of responsibilities - trying to balance work commitments whilst also caring for and educating children, who may also be requiring more attention as they miss their usual social interactions. For other parents, this time can be isolating as they are unable to access their extended support system, be that family, friends and/or external support groups.
Have there been many changes to your antenatal care and birthing plan?
MN: “We had been advised that there would be no changes to my birthing plan. During the final weeks of the pregnancy, my doctor would schedule scans every fortnight. These scans actually took place every three weeks and I could only attend by myself.”
Zahira says: It is important to speak to your midwife or doctor about the most up to date changes to antenatal care and birthing plans as these vary between hospitals. Face-to-face appointments are now being streamlined and many appointments may take place via telephone/video call. Make sure you are aware of these changes and how to access help if you need it. Whilst you may feel anxious about going to the hospital for face-to-face appointments, this is important for you and your baby, with the Royal College of Midwives stating that these appointments “are essential to ensure the wellbeing of pregnant women and their babies”. The only exception is if you are pregnant and have symptoms of possible coronavirus – if this is the case, you should call to defer your routine appointment until the recommended isolation period is over. Home births are also generally no longer being offered due to the risk of spread of COVID.
What changes have been made to your postnatal follow-ups, in light of social distancing? Are regular appointments still being carried out by the NHS? If so, in what format?
ZH: “I understand most midwives are reluctant to make home visits at the moment. For the five day heel prick, my wife had to take the baby into the hospital - we were not given any other option.”
SG: “Healthcare visits are no longer possible and we can’t go to weighing centres to have him weighed nor to breastfeeding meetups. I was able to get his 6 week check up with a doctor recently and do have his first set of vaccinations booked.”
ZT: “ Our baby’s 6 week check and first immunisations were combined together as a single appointment at 8 weeks. Our BCG appointment has been delayed until after the isolation period.”
Zahira says: As mentioned earlier, you may find that your face-to-face appointments are being cancelled unless absolutely necessary. Many health visitors are now operating a telephone helpline to provide extra support to women in their homes, so it’s important you are aware of your local hospital’s support system. Vaccinations should be taking place as scheduled provided you and your baby are well, although you may find these are not carried by a GP.
Were you allowed to have a birthing partner present?
ZH: “Fortunately yes, I was able to be present at the birth but I was asked to leave about an hour or so after the baby was born. We have one older daughter whom we had no choice but to leave with her grandparents. A day after the baby was born, I went to collect her from her grandparents house, but did not go inside, and asked her to walk out to me to try and avoid me spreading anything, in case I caught something in the hospital.”
Zahira says: Your birth partner should be allowed to be present at the birth provided they are free from coronavirus symptoms but remember to check with your maternity unit as policies do vary.
Is anything making you particularly anxious and if so, what? How do you manage this?
SG: “I am anxious as he is my first and I am not sure I am doing this correctly! I have been seeking advice from other mums via text and video calls to get some reassurance.”
ZT: “It has been challenging! As my husband is a key worker, we have faced some challenging decisions about our living situation. I am also constantly worried about the risk of either me or my baby becoming ill, especially as I am breastfeeding and this does keep me up at night.”
Zahira says: There is limited evidence to suggest that your baby could contract coronavirus from you while pregnant. Additionally, coronavirus hasn’t been linked to other prenatal problems such as miscarriage or developmental issues. In late pregnancy, the majority of babies that were born to COVID infected mothers were healthy and well. Whilst there have been a few cases of coronavirus in children, it is largely not fatal with most having recovered without complications.
Regarding breastfeeding and COVID 19, there is no evidence that coronavirus is secreted in breastmilk. Even if you were to be infected, your breastmilk is safe for your baby and will contain antibodies that will help keep your baby well. However you may choose to wear a mask whilst breastfeeding, or express your milk so someone else can feed the baby. Also don’t forget the normal hand washing precautions.
What has been the biggest challenge of having a newborn at home whilst lockdown is in place? How are you managing this?
SG: “The biggest challenge has been sleep - or lack thereof! I am trying to sleep when he does – but it’s tough.”
ZT: “ I really struggle with not being able to see my family. Although we video chat daily, I feel like they are missing out on the key milestones in my baby’s life. They are still a massive pillar of strength for me and keep me feeling positive on the more difficult days.”
How are you practicing self-care, for you and your baby, with all of the government restrictions in place?
MN: “We set aside time each day to go out for our daily exercise (supplemented by some Joe Wicks sessions and Cosmic Yoga!).”
SG: “I have been cooking for myself (making sure to eat healthily!) and taking walks with the baby.”
ZT: “Whilst it is important to stay informed, I try to limit time spent watching the news as I noticed this was only making me feel more anxious. When I do feel anxious, I recite a short tasbih to help calm my nerves.”
What acts of kindness have you received from others that have helped you to feel supported?
SG:” The biggest has been from my friend and neighbour. She checks in on us, gets us groceries, she’s watched my baby so I can sleep. She even stayed the night one evening so I could sleep. I never expected this kindness!”
ZT: “I have really enjoyed getting to know my neighbours better. Prior to the lockdown, we only said hello in passing but now have a Whatsapp group for everyone living on the street, and collectively help each with shopping. We also really enjoy seeing their smiling faces every Thursday evening when we come out on the street to clap for the key workers. It makes us realise that we are not alone!”
What measures are being taken to keep pregnant women and their babies safe during appointments, during birth and during after care?
ZH: “Some obvious measures have been taken [in hospitals] e.g. free parking so people don't touch the parking meters. Handwashing and wearing of masks & gloves was evident throughout our time in hospital - including the nurses who do follow up checks in hospital.”
Zahira says: Maternity units are streamlining services so women with coronavirus are looked after in completely separate areas and by different staff to women who are well. You may be recommended by the doctor to have a c-section if you have tested positive by COVID-19.
What’s your top tip for other pregnant women right now?
MN: “Try to maintain a healthy diet and exercise a few times a week. If you aren't able to leave the house for a walk then there are a number of apps and online videos which support exercise in pregnancy no matter what level you are at. It will make a difference as you get to the end of your pregnancy and will boost your mood and energy levels. Whilst pregnancy does come with some discomforts, try and embrace the miracle of life growing inside you and the adventure which awaits!”
ZT: “Be kind to yourself. If you feel sad, frustrated or angry, remind yourself that this is a challenging time and your feelings are valid. Remember to spend time looking after your own mental health and seek help from your GP/health visitor/midwife if you are struggling.” You can also call or email the Ismaili Corona Helpline (020 8191 0911, [email protected]).
Some final advice from Zahira…
The advice being given is that pregnant women do not appear to be more likely to be seriously unwell than other healthy adults if they develop the coronavirus. It is expected the large majority of pregnant women will experience only mild or moderate cold/flu like symptoms. Cough, fever, shortness of breath, headache and loss of sense of smell are other relevant symptoms. As per the government guidelines, pregnant women should not be at more risk than other healthy adults. For more information from the NHS on Pregnancy and Coronavirus, please click here.
If you’re struggling without antenatal classes or meetups, use your time to listen to a podcast, join an online chat group or reach out to other mums you know from the Ismaili community.
Also look out for WAP’s Preparing for Parenthood Series; virtual workshops covering a wide range of topics to help you feel better prepared for the road ahead. Our next session will be on Sunday 7th June at 4pm and will focus on basic baby first aid tips as well as how to respond when your child has a fever. Please click here to register.
We hope you have enjoyed hearing from our parents and have found the information they shared useful. If you need any support, please reach out to us at [email protected].
A reminder of our upcoming events and initiatives:
Preparing for Parenthood - Basic baby first aid and responding to fevers. Click here to register.
Embrace: 1-2-1 support for parents of newborns. Please email [email protected] to find out more.
The Sisterhood Initiative: a virtual network of women, discussing topics such as loneliness and building better relationships. Our next session entitled Building Better Bonds in Lockdown - Part 2, will be held on Sunday 31st May. Register here.
