When something very difficult happens in our lives, it is possible that, on dates that mark the event or at other specific moments, we can re-experience difficult feelings and thoughts and that memory insists on bringing with it images, memories and uncomfortable sensations, like a tide which brings objects to the shore that pollute an immaculate beach.
This leads us to reflect on the notions of trauma and resilience. Psychological resilience consists of successfully adapting to a difficult or challenging life experience. In the context of trauma, resilience refers to the ability to cope with or be able to overcome a potentially traumatic situation.
In reality, when we talk about trauma, it is not about the experience itself, but rather the inability to recover from that experience. It is the way we emotionally respond to the situation, the way we think about it, how we overcome it, or how we "archive" it within us, that will make the difference. In this context, resilience can be developed when we are able to adapt from the point of view emotional, mental and behavioral. Naturally, resilience is not a fixed trait, that is, something you have or don't have. Resilience can be worked on and developed over time.
It is also important to note that overcoming a traumatic situation does not mean that we are ignoring the past or that we were not affected by the situation. It doesn't mean we're sweeping it under the rug and pretending nothing happened. This is not about minimizing or relativizing the traumatic situation experienced. Trauma can result in extremely difficult emotions such as guilt, shame, anger and sadness. And emotional regulation can allow the expression and emotional management of all these emotions, in a healthier way.
Therefore, being resilient does not mean that we do not experience stress or suffering, but it involves working and developing our resources through this emotional pain and suffering. Building resilience takes time, requires courage, and support from those around us. It depends on internal and more personal factors, such as self-esteem and our ability to communicate, but also on external factors, such as social support and the resources we have.
Some ways that can help us strengthen our resilience are:
- Seek social support:
The person only exists within a context. Therefore, an environment in which we feel cared for, whether in the family, school, workplace, community, will make all the difference; - Discover your purpose and help others:
These are ways that can reinforce resilience, whether by giving additional help to someone close to you or by volunteering in an area you enjoy. When we are altruistic we can sometimes understand our purpose, and at the same time we feel more connected to others; - Remember to self-care:
Taking care of yourself on several levels is very important, as it will help you get through difficult times. Self-care can involve using music or art to express yourself, writing in a diary, doing an activity you enjoy, spending time in nature, meditating, among others; - Acceptability:
It's difficult to accept certain events that we would never have thought would knock on our door. The truth is that being able to accept that reality has changed will help us recover from a traumatic situation. Even if it leaves a huge mark and we see life from another perspective, accepting it will make us more resilient. - Seek professional help:
It may be necessary to look for mental health professionals trained in the area of trauma, who can help deal with psychological suffering and develop emotional regulation strategies that contribute to building resilience after a traumatic situation.
As a community that lives the ethics of Islam through values such as peace, brotherhood and service to the Jamat, we can make a difference. We are a community marked by constant adaptation, the result of past and present migratory movements, of adversities experienced by changing times. Without a doubt, we have been able to find admirable internal resources, with an openness to the new, a pluralistic philosophy and an orientation towards the future, always guided by our beloved Imam.
Soraia Jamal | Psychologist
