1. Alcohol and drugs are not the culprits or excuses for raising your hand or voice. Alcohol and drugs can make existing violence worse. They can be a catalyst for an attack but not the cause. Many people drink and do not abuse their partner, so it should not be used to excuse violent or controlling behavior. The perpetrator alone is responsible for his actions.
2. Contrary to popular belief, domestic abuse is not restricted to physical violence. Incidences and patterns of controlling, coercive, threatening, degrading behavior broadly define domestic abuse. Episodes can include psychological and/or emotional abuse, physical and sexual abuse, financial abuse, digital stalking and online abuse.
3. Why do women stay in abusive relationships? Abuse very rarely starts at the beginning of a relationship. It comes later, when there is an emotional investment, children, finance, fear, lack of support, shame. Abusers often try and isolate their partners from family, friends, community, to make it easier to control and silence them.
4. Very sadly, 90% of children, whose mothers are abused, witness the abuse. This long-term trauma is considered as child abuse at an emotional level. These children rarely can manage their relationships as they develop and grow. And in many instances 40% to 70% of these children become direct victims of physical abuse.
5. SHE PROVOKED HIM! This myth is widespread, deep rooted, and often based on the belief that the man is the head of the family, has a right to punish his partner/children, thus relieving him from the responsibilities of his actions. In reality, abuse or violence is never the victim’s fault.
6. All couples argue. Abuse and disagreement are not the same thing. Abuse is about taking control, using physical, emotional, psychological stance in order to govern. Disagreements are different opinions, thoughts, all acceptable processes of a normal healthy relationship, should be approached with communication, patience and compromise.
Seek help, do not let fear guide you.
Becoming a victim is not a choice, becoming a survivor is!
