Over time with the fast-paced lives, we have become more accustomed to reacting instead of responding. What is the difference between the two?
Reactions are instinctual and stem from the subconscious mind. There’s no filtering process when you react in a situation – you are running on auto-pilot. When you react, you do and say things without thinking first and don’t consider the implications of what you do or say – you just act.
Responses are more thoughtful. When you respond, you first explore in your mind the possible outcomes of your reply before saying a word. You may weigh the pros and cons and consider what would be best for yourself and others in the situation.
Parenting is all about what we do and say with and to our children. Every action and every word have an impact on our child’s development. Thus, it is essential that we parents are mindful of it. What does it mean to be mindful? How do we be mindful?
Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us. The goal of bringing mindfulness to parenting is to respond thoughtfully to your child’s behaviors or actions versus simply reacting.
To break it down even further, most ideas of mindful parenting involve these skills listed below.
Listening. This means truly listening and observing with your full attention. This can take a tremendous amount of patience and practice. And listening extends to the environment. Take in everything — the sights, smells, sounds — surrounding you and your child.
Nonjudgmental acceptance. It’s approaching the situation without judgment for your feelings or your child’s feelings. What is simply is. Nonjudgment also involves letting go of unrealistic expectations of your child. And, in the end, it’s this acceptance of “what is” that’s the goal.
Emotional awareness. Bringing about awareness to parenting interactions extends from the parent to the child and back. Modeling emotional awareness is key to teaching your child to do the same. There are always emotions affecting situations, whether they were formed a long time ago or are more fleeting.
Self-regulation. This means not letting your emotions trigger immediate reactions, like yelling or other automatic behaviors. In short: it’s thinking before acting to avoid overreacting.
Compassion. Again, you may not agree with your child’s actions or thoughts, but mindful parenting encourages parents to have compassion. This involves being empathetic and understanding of the child’s position in the moment. Compassion extends to the parent as well, as there’s ultimately less self-blame if a situation doesn’t turn out as you’d hoped.
Source: Healthline Parenthood
