Studying for exams, shouldering the burden of financial stress, and caring for an elderly family member. Life is full of struggles at every stage and mental stressors affect us all in different ways.
September kicks off National Suicide Prevention Month, making it a good time for us to gain a deeper understanding of what challenges can cause anxiety and depression, leading to thoughts of suicide. As an Ismaili community, it’s up to us to fight common stigmas associated with discussing suicide, and learn of ways to create a supportive network that uplifts those facing crises.
Let’s take a look at the common causes behind why people consider suicide so we can foster better dialogue around how to offer help and support as a community.
Men vs. women: the gender difference
Studies suggest that women are twice as likely as men to experience major depression, yet 78% of suicides are committed by men, underscoring a significant gender disparity. South Asian men are especially vulnerable, being four times more likely to die by suicide. What factors contribute to these large differences? What makes men in general, more susceptible than women? The answer is complex.
The unspoken stigma
This elevated risk of suicide in men is often linked to untreated mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, and hesitation to seek help. From a societal perspective, men are often encouraged to be the rocks of their families and pillars of strength for spouses, children, and parents. From a young age, boys are often discouraged from expressing emotions like tears, which are seen as a sign of vulnerability and weakness.
These expectations often mean that later in life, men under-report mental health issues, like depression and anxiety. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, approximately 20% of men in the U.S. experienced some form of mental illness in 2022. However, because men are less likely than women to report symptoms or seek help, this number may be higher in actuality.
The pressures of family responsibilities
As part of cultural expectations, many Asian immigrant men have the added stress of supporting aging parents, younger siblings, or families back home. The responsibility of providing financial aid for medical expenses, education, and other needs can be overwhelming, especially when balancing these with demands from their immediate family in the U.S. Immigration status can increase stress, particularly when it restricts travel home during times of family crisis, deepening feelings of helplessness and anxiety.
A study in the Journal of Immigrant and Minority Health found that South Asian immigrants are less likely to seek mental health services compared to other ethnic groups, with men being especially hesitant, which often results in denial, harmful coping mechanisms like substance abuse, and suicidal thoughts.
Men commit suicide at a rate four times higher than women. However, suicide still affects women in a large way.
Women and suicide
Although men are more successful at their attempts of suicide, women report thoughts of suicide more often than men and are three times more likely to attempt it. This is because women are more likely than men to experience or at least report/seek treatment for mental health problems like depression and anxiety. The perinatal period, or the time during pregnancy up to the first year after the birth of a child is one of the highest risk periods for suicide in women. Also, women who are victims of domestic violence, childhood sexual abuse, and eating disorders are at higher risk. However, a wide spectrum of contributing factors can lead to suicidal thoughts and attempts in individuals across a diverse range of ages, backgrounds, genders and beliefs.
Pressure to succeed
From an early age, children are put under heavy pressure to excel academically, often being steered toward careers in medicine, law, or engineering. Later, they find themselves under similar pressures to succeed both professionally and financially. However, attaining these levels of “success” in constant competition with peers can lead to chronic stress and anxiety, resulting in a cycle of unattainable goals and unrealistic expectations.
Influence and illusions from Social Media
Social media platforms can cause feelings of inadequacy, and can make people feel like they are failing in their relationships, finances, career, or other areas of life. Although a picture can speak a thousand words, it’s difficult to remember that it alone does not represent our entire life story: the struggles, the challenges, and the things unseen to the naked eye that aren’t so Facebook-worthy.
However, getting caught up in appearances is human nature. Subsequently, the picture-perfect moments often captured on social platforms are toxic for self-confidence, increasing societal focus on materialism, wealth, and possessions. As individuals strive for the ideal life, they’re sucked into feeling inadequate, which promotes them to overextend themselves financially – and sometimes emotionally to maintain the desired effect of appearing happy and successful.
Additionally, bullying and chronic health conditions are among the leading causes of suicidal thoughts. When left untreated and unrecognized, these stressors can lead to despair and suicidal ideation.
Other common reasons for suicidal thoughts
- Adopting sexual preferences different from what is acceptable within your environment
- Losing someone you love
- Abuse, bullying, or discrimination
- The end of a meaningful relationship
- A major life change, like divorce, unemployment, retirement, or homelessness
- Receiving news of a life-altering illness
- A lost pregnancy
- Cultural practices, such as arranged marriage
- Surviving a traumatic event
Warning signs to look for
Recognizing risk factors is crucial for developing effective prevention strategies and creating supportive environments that encourage open conversations – while eliminating stigmas about mental health. Below are some signs that may indicate someone is considering self-harm or suicide:
- Feeling a sense of intolerable pain
- Having a sudden fascination with death
- Enduring a sense of hopelessness, worthlessness or entrapment
- Experiencing bouts of shame, anger, and guilt
- Perceiving themselves as a burden on others
- Increasing alcohol or drug use
- Losing interest in hygiene or appearance
- Withdrawing from loved ones or the community
- Saying goodbye to family and friends
- Giving away prized possessions
- Displaying signs or episodes of depression, anxiety or emotional distress
- Showing changes in sleeping or eating patterns
- Growing violent or becoming a victim of violence
- Showing rage
- Being reckless
How to respond to do's and don'ts
When someone breaks a bone or physically injures themselves, we offer sympathy and acts of kindness. However, that’s not always the case when someone approaches us in a clear cry for help when their mental well-being is jeopardized.
- Do support and listen above all else. Someone who is suicidal often can benefit from feeling heard and understood.
- Recognizing that mental illness is a real condition that impacts people’s brains – an organ in our body equally as important as any other – is the first step to shifting the negative perception around openly discussing mental health.
- As a community, educate one another about mental health so we can normalize open discussions about suicidal thoughts and promote seeking help without judgment.
- Do create a safe space for those struggling by understanding that these thoughts do not indicate weakness or selfishness. In fact, suicidal thoughts are often a response to overwhelming stress or emotional pain, signaling a critical need for support.
- Don’t make dismissive remarks like "But that’s selfish," or "Others have bigger problems than you" or “Think positive.” Your response can be lifesaving. Acknowledge the person’s pain, validate their feelings, and help them understand that it’s okay – even brave – for them to seek professional help.
- Don’t ignore someone who mentions suicide. If the situation seems emergent and a person is actively threatening suicide, stay with them and call 9-1-1. For non-urgent cases, where a person exhibits signs of contemplating suicide, dial the Suicide and Crisis Hotline at 9-8-8, or contact ACCESS at 1-844-55-ACCESS (1-844-552-2237) for assistance. Providing timely support and connecting individuals with appropriate resources is crucial for preventing suicide and promoting mental well-being.
Self-care strategies and seeking help
Self-care is a fundamental aspect of maintaining good mental health, with small daily acts of self-care having a profound impact. Here are some tips:
- Stay Connected: Reach out to friends or family for emotional support and practical help. Isolation can often worsen thoughts of suicide, so relying on a network of people you trust is crucial.
- Exercise Regularly: Aim for at least 30 minutes of physical activity daily, like walking. Small amounts add up if done consistently.
- Eat Healthily: Maintain a balanced diet, stay hydrated, and be mindful of caffeine and alcohol intake, as they can affect mood.
- Prioritize Sleep: Stick to a consistent sleep schedule and limit blue light exposure before bedtime to improve sleep quality.
- Try Relaxation Activities: Incorporate meditation, muscle relaxation, or breathing exercises into your routine. Engage in hobbies that bring joy.
- Set Goals and Priorities: Focus on what needs to be done now and learn to say “no” when necessary. Reflect on and appreciate daily accomplishments.
- Focus on Positivity: Challenge negative thoughts and replace them with constructive, positive ones.
While self-care is important, some mental health challenges require professional support. If you experience severe or distressing symptoms such as the following that persist for two or more weeks, it may be time to seek help:
- Difficulty sleeping
- Changes in appetite or unplanned weight changes
- Difficulty getting out of bed due to mood
- Difficulty concentrating
- Loss of interest in activities you usually enjoy
- Inability to complete daily tasks
- Feelings of irritability, frustration, or restlessness
Recognizing these signs early and seeking help can prevent mental health issues from worsening and promote recovery.
How to perpetuate change for the future
Being proactive in seeking or helping someone seek help is a positive. However, breaking the devastating cycle of suicide takes the work of each and every member in a community. As a parent, mentor, teacher, or community member, you can make an impact in the following ways:
- Encourage both young boys and girls to express emotions – don’t differentiate between genders.
- Limit the pressures and stress on students as much as possible while setting reasonable expectations and celebrating accomplishments.
- Prioritize mental well-being the way you would physical well-being in young children and adults.
- Educate yourself on mental illnesses and suicide to dismantle stigmas and misconceptions. You can’t understand or empathize with what you don’t know.
- Don’t judge. Remember, everyone has a different tolerance, history, and chemical makeup. It’s not up to us to judge what they’re feeling or how they’re enduring a situation.
- Don’t compare. What affects one person one way may affect another differently. We are all created differently.
By fostering open communication, promoting ethical living, and using the resources available to us, we can create a healthier and more supportive environment where every person can thrive. It all starts with you.
Remember: you are not alone.
If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide, the most important thing to know is that you don’t have to go through this alone. Finding a reliable network of people or even an individual who can listen is important, but resources beyond that are available, too, for completely confidential inquiries. Call ACCESS at 1-844-55-ACCESS (1-844-552-2237) or get support from the Suicide and Crisis Hotline by dialing 9-8-8. Having an open conversation with something you trust by starting with something like, “This is hard for me to share, but I’ve been having thoughts of harming myself lately,” can make way for impactful dialogue and mean the difference between feeling alone or gaining life-changing support.
References:
- U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Office of Minority Health. (2019). Mental Health and South Asian Americans.
- Journal of Immigrant and Minority Health. (2021). Mental Health Disparities Among South Asian Immigrants in the United States.
- South Asian Mental Health Initiative and Network (SAMHIN). (2020). Understanding Mental Health in South Asian Communities.
- The American Psychiatric Association. (2020). The Impact of Cultural Stigma on Mental Health in South Asian Communities.
- Pew Research Center. (2021). The Rise of Social Media and its Impact on Mental Health Among Immigrant Communities.
- Gupta, R., & Sood, M. (2021). Mental Health in South Asian Immigrant Communities: Challenges and Solutions. Journal of Immigrant and Minority Health.
- Patel, V., & Prince, M. (2019). Global Mental Health: A New Global Health Field Comes of Age. JAMA Psychiatry.
- South Asian Psychological Health Alliance (SAPHA). (2022). Understanding the Impact of Seasonal Affective Disorder in South Asian Communities.
- National Library of Medicine. Why women are less likely than men to commit suicide click here
- CDC. Suicide Data and Statistics click here
- Psychology Today. The Surprising Truth About Male Suicide click here
